Second, I’m hoping by keeping FOC free, we’ll continue to keep managers in the league. Continuity breeds familiarity and fun. Hopefully this league doesn’t take too much time from our busy schedules and we can continue it. For the most part, I know everyone here personally, and though there are the occasional tiffs, it’s all in good fun. I hope you all come back next year and invites will continue to be given to everyone who was involved this year. However, if we have people not coming back, the question is, should we move back to 12 teams, or should we continue the tradition of 14 teams?

            Third, we’ve got the naming condition in this league. Let’s just put it in writing: high scoring team renames low scoring team. High scoring team does not necessarily have to rename the low scoring team. Low scoring team must change team name before following week’s games or faces the penalty of losing their highest scoring player (conditional punishment, since there are extraneous circumstances that can prevent name change). A changed name team cannot change their name until they are highest scorer of the week.  Do I have everything correct?

            Fourth, are there any things you’d like to change to the league? I, for one, want to get rid of the waiver priority changing based on standing. Anything else you’d like different?

 —

Great, now onto some league news. The playoff picture is still murky as we go into week 12. Two games left, five spots still up for grabs. A look:

• Awesomeness (8-3) vs  Floppy Weiners (5-6) – Jill’s playing for the bye, though according to the numbers, she still has a small chance to miss the playoffs. She’d need to drop both games and score terribly, but it is still a possibility.  One win, though, and she’s in.  Christoph is on the outside looking in, needing to win out and have some losses from the teams above him. His team is favored right now over Jill, and then there’s Cox’s team waiting…so it’ll take a miracle to see the floppies in the playoffs.
• 2010 is my year (7-4) vs. Wacko For Flacco (10-1) – Since Skora started AD-gate, I’m looking forward to delaying his entry into the playoffs. Still, he’s got the weak Crabby team next week, so 8 wins should get him in.  
• Devin’s Hester (6-5) vs. Wide Stance (2-9) – You know, this could be your stereotypical trap game.  Pierce’s team could look forward to the solid matchup against the resurgent Thundercats in week 13 and just assume that the Wheels will roll over and play dead.  Nah…since we’re talking about Wheel! He’ll start injured Warner, or he’ll replace him with non-starter Shaun Hill.  This is a must win for Pierce, and he’ll win.
• With my mama (6-5) vs. Weak from no Meat (5-6) – Way to go, Cox and Dave. Both needed wins to stay alive in the playoff race, and both got them in tight games against quality opponents. Cox looks stronger in this matchup (colder weather helps RB heavy teams), so I give him the nod. A loss for Weak Meat knocks them out of the playoff race, so its run the table time for Dave. Great matchup.
• Asian Fetishist (6-5) vs. that’s what she said (2-9) – I wonder if Dan’s checking on his team while he’s in Asia. He’s going to get an always difficult matchup against the luckless Alexis team. Is LT for real? I’m not going to doubt him, since he’s healthy and rested after Sproles took most of the previous weeks’ beatings.  Still, Alex is now just playing as a spoiler. Dan needs this win…if so, then he faces me for a possible playoff berth. House, I am open to bribery (I can hear cries of foul play already).
• Eight Year Wonders (6-5) vs. Crabs (5-6) – Much like the mediocre Chargers playoff team of last year, both of these bumbling teams could make the playoffs. Shaw admits his mundaneness and I would be shocked if he won this matchup against Toby, but I won’t bet on this game, since Toby’s team is just as likely to score less than 100 points as Shaw’s team.  Either way, both teams need wins, Shaw more so, but both teams face tough matches in Week 13. Playoffs not likely for either team.
• Thundercats (5-6) vs. Britney’s Bald Spot (4-7) – Let’s see, it is technically possible for Jay the White’s team to make it with a lot of help and two wins, but that’s got to be a 100-1 longshot. It’s almost going to be as tough for Jayson’s cats.  Sure, the matchups aren’t that bad, but he’s got Romo. What does Romo do in December? Oh yeah, he sucks.  No way either of these teams make it (there’s some poster board material…inspire your teams, get to the playoffs and tell me I’m an idiot!).

No rankings this week. What the hell, here’s some awards.  

• What’s old is new again award – Ricky Williams and Brett Favre. Look out, but both of these over 30/40 guys are at the top of scoring in our league. Without Ronnie Brown, Ricky is delivering, making Christoph turgid. Brett is making it hard for me to keep starting Brady each week. Tough call. Long live King Favre!
• The Chris Johnson Holy $%*! That’s a Lot of Points Award – Aaron Rodgers. No not for his Week 11 work, but thus far in the season, Rodgers is the number one player in fantasy.
•  The Mohammed Massaquoi Award for Dead Fantasy Points - Matt Stafford and Brady Quinn went nuts (41 and 36 points respectively) and they were on the FA list, while strugglers started for our league (I’m looking at you, Tony Romo for 8 points against the lowly Redskins). There can’t be many weeks in fantasy when the top two scoring players are on the FA list.
• The LenWhale White Sloppy Shame Award – Marshawn Lynch. 8 carries for 18 yards … and a fumble, and it gets Pierce -1.8 points.  What’s worse? Here’s Pierce’s bench: Lance Moore 0.0, Donald Brown 1.0, Kolby Smith 0.3, and Justin Fargas 5.1.  Brutal.
• How the mighty have fallen Award – Willie Parker. Isn’t it sad that Parker was dropped by Pierce’s team for a Raiders running back? RIP, Fast Willie.

Enjoy the long weekend.

• How amazing is Brett Favre? The thing that hit me most was how his decision making is great as long as he’s keeping his throws in the 10-20 yard range. Maybe it’s a good thing to lose the excessively strong arm because he’s only throwing 20+ once or twice a game, rather than every other set of downs like his high INT days. Of course, come week 12 and on, I don’t know if he’ll continue to look so fresh.
• Let me toot my horn a little: 5-2 picking the winners of our league games. Of course, it is pretty easy when chalk wins so often, when based on the projected stats. A couple of betting principles: always pick against Wheel, always watch the matchups (primarily TB, TEN, CLE and OAK), and always use the projected stats as an important baseline. You, too, can be a 70%+ picker!
• I am shocked at how many fantasy happenings in Week 8 had some cause/effect centered on my team in this league. Guess who had started Ted Ginn Jr in Week 7, hated his two drop day, and dropped him for his sick 2TD return day in Week 8? Guess who’s the number two scoring WR now in fantasy…yup, Skora’s shiny Desean Jackson, traded away by this guy. Oh, and who did I get? How about Hands Slaton who has fumbled the ball 7(!!!) times this season, 5 of which were recovered by the defense…he’s got the same amount of fumbles as the paragon of terribleness, JaMarcus “Worm Burner” Russell.
• Of course, I’m not the only one snake bitten – Thundercats Jayson, who is riding a 3 game winning streak, got a very good TE in a trade with Christoph the German. Owen Daniels, one of the top 5 TE in the game, hurt himself on the second possession of the game and now is done for the season. So, he gave up Randy Moss for Joseph Addai.

This highlights one of the major themes of importance in fantasy at this stage of the season: depth is everything. Sure, Jayson’s WR heavy draft strategy was a gamble that didn’t shake out, but even with Addai, having no RB depth will hurt. As a winning player, you’ll want to keep your eyes peeled to continue to add depth to your benches…one key move might be jettisoning those extra K, TE, and DEF. Also, unless they’re a stud, you may want to lose that QB and hold onto extra skill guys.

Wow, this collection of notes is just going all over the place…why not continue the disjointedness – AWARDS!

• The Chris Johnson Holy $%*! That’s a Lot of Points Award – Chris Johnson (Chuck). When it rains, it pours for CJ. Week 2, he had that ape-nuts 284 yards total, 2 TD game, and now, after the bye, he tears up Jacksonville for 228 rushing and 2 TD, good for 39 points.
• The Mohammed Massaquoi Award for Dead Fantasy Points – Ryan Moats. As most people know, I hate dead fantasy points. Every time Mike Vrabel hawks a touchdown from a TE, I stab a cute puppy. Every time some second string big boy take a goal line TD from a stud RB, I want to punt a newborn. There’s a hole in the wall for each of the two TD that Jason Wright scored. Anyway, I’ve decided to name this award after MM because he took value away from legitimate fantasy options during that one week that he went nuts, and now gets certain players 0 fantasy points. I award it to f-ing Ryan Moats, that slow piece of crap that’s now in the thick of things in the Texans running game, taking away touch from sloppy Slaton.
• The LenWhale White Sloppy Shame Award – Ronnie Brown (Leblanc’s Bald Spot) was bad (11 carries for 27 yards) in getting only 3 points for Leblanc’s team, and Brown’s supposed to be Leblanc’s stud RB. On a completely different subject, am I the only one that finds it funny that Leblanc’s Yahoo avatar is a shirtless guy in a weight room?
• The Come On, Tom Award for Strangest Comment – Jayson’s declaration of desire for physical love with Percy Harvin. 21.9 points from Harvin…but no love for Tony Romo?
• The Bounce Down Award – Matt Schaub (Skora’s 2010); doesn’t it seem like once a player gets some hype from a big game, they always have a let down against inferior opponents? This week, the bounce down definitely applies to seemingly sizzingly Schaub throwing two pickles to a Bills D that isn’t very good. Other nominees, David Garrard’s complete suckitude against the Titans and a bad day for many of the participants of the Panthers Cardinals game.

THE RANKINGS

1. AWESOMENESS!/Jill (6-2, Previous Rank #2) – As the old adage goes, to be the best, you must beat the best. Jill is legitimately the best team in fantasy with the highest cumulative score in the league by ~30 points. Other things going for her: most of the major position player BYEs have past and she’s got a solid three RBs. Needs as far as I can see: a solid WR2 would be nice.

2. WACKO FOR FLACCO/Chuck (7-1, #1) – Even though I saw no drop off starting Favre over resting Brady, it hurt not having Welker. The big question for me, after retooling my team to set up for a playoff run, is whether I gave away too much for too little in return. Looks like the DeSean trade for me was a bust, with Slaton turning into mush. Time will tell if Fitzgerald was a good trade, though I’ll miss the impact of Benson.

3. WITH MY MAMA/Cox (5-3, #4) – MJD is great, wonderful, superb, excellent, hooray! No more BYE issues either, so Cox is geared up for a winning rest of the way. I wouldn’t be surprised is this team ends 1 or 2.

4. VISANTHE’S SHIANCOE/Pierce (5-3, #3) – Hopefully one of the RBs other than Ray Rice will break out down the stretch (Beast mode? Jamaal Charles?) to even out the scoring. Also, I guess Pierce is committed to continue the double Pack attack at the WR, since Lance Moore isn’t doing anything. Still, Brees is good, Vernon Davis is finally looking like a winning Terp, and Ray Rice, as long as he stays healthy, is a great 10+ weekly back.

5. EIGHTH YEAR WONDER/Toby (5-3, #8) – This week might not be a winner as Tobes has three BYE outs, but I like this lineup. Having bolstered his team with a trade (though Benson will have a tough time against the Ravens…hopefully), this team has 4-5 great players. That’s good for this league.

6. 2010 IS MY YEAR/Skora (4-4, #5) – When are people going to start double covering Desean? How about maybe just bracket coverage on those little fly outs? Anyway, Skora’s got a decent team that could plod their way to the playoff, or miss it by one game. Well, at least you’re in the top half of the league.

7. PREPTOWN FANCY LADS/Dave (4-4, #6) – Carson gets you some points against a bad Ravens secondary. Miles Austin should run well against the Eagles. Maybe DeAngelo gets going against the Saints. This will easily get you a win against Wheel because we always bet against Wheel.

8. FLOPPY WEINERS/Christoph (3-5, #13) – From 13 to 5, that’s what happens when you get to participate in a season changing trade. Netting Randy Moss helps a WR roster that is underachieving (looking at you, Boldin). Also, getting Randy Moats, which sucks for me, will definitely help Floppy German get to the playoffs.

9. BRITNEY’S BALD SPOT/LeBlanc (3-5, #7) – Don’t know what to think of this team. Maybe Westbrook comes back soon and does well? Maybe Nicks gets a few more targets from Eli the mysterious suckitude. Maybe Hines doesn’t get shut down by a keyed up Denver D? Still, here’s looking a possible win with Matt Ryan licking his chops against a defeated Redskins team.

10. YOU’VE GOT CRABS/Shaw (3-5, #12) – Ranked higher to keep House lower. There’s a lot of potential with these midseason changes, primarily in Vince Young. He could get going…or he could go all Jamarcus Russell. Don’t know. Still, I like Dwayne Bowe and Roddy White this week.

11. ACCIDENTAL BONERS/Dan (4-4, #9) – Dan will probably lose as 3 of his RB are on BYE. Calvin’s still probably out for this coming week. This team should drop further after this week.

12. THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID/Alex (2-6, #10) – The preseason number 1 continues to fall and losing All Day to a BYE won’t help this week.

13. THUNDERCATS OFFENSE/Jayson (3-5, #11) – A win and yet a fall? Losing Owen Daniel hurts. BYE weeks this week hurts more. Not paying attention to setting your lineup? You’re almost as bad as Wheel.

14. WHEEL/Weil (1-7, #14) – Kurt Warner throws 5 interceptions. Wow.

RENAME – SHAW, please rename WHEEL, and feel free to rename yourself as well. Just in case everyone missed it, if you were renamed, you cannot change your name unless you are the big scorer in a given week.

Floppy Weiners trade Joseph Addai and Owen Daniels

Thundercats trade Randy Moss and Heath Miller

My take: Addai for Moss, seems like Floppy kills on this deal.

Toby’s team gets Mighty Cedric Benson and Jerricho Cotchery

and I get…

Larry Fitzgerald.

Larry's Rolling

….come on, people, get some trades going… 

• I don’t know how my team is undefeated. There are teams that have outscored me. There are teams who drafted better and therefore haven’t had to make as many moves. I’ve had 4 out of 7 matchups where victory was less than 10 points. Hell, I had to start Dropsy Ginn Jr and a Cleveland Brown. Still, a core of Tom Brady, Wes Welker, and three top 11 RBs has my team going pretty strong.  Of course, I don’t like my matchups over the next three weeks, so I don’t know how much longer this undefeated thing is going to last.
• Is there a team that’s more snake bitten than Alexis’ inaugural edition? With her 3 point loss to Jill this week, all five of her losses have been 10 points or less. What sucks is that, if she were to start her optimized lineup each week (bench player over starter), she would have picked up 4 wins. A 2-5 team that could have been 6-1…that’s just bad luck.
• There have been some fun surprises this year in the top 25 of scoring. The most overall scorer is Matt Schaub. The second scoring RB is former Bear Benson. Ochocinco is the 24^th ranked fantasy player, one ahead of fellow WR Reggie Wayne, who are both on Cox’s team, surprisingly just a 4-3 team.
• At the beginning of the year, the top 6 TE were (in debatable order) Gonzalez, Gates, Witten, Clark, Daniels, and Greg Olson. Through 7 weeks, the top six are Daniels, Vernon Davis, Clark, Gates, Heath Miller, and soldier Winslow. The biggest bust, Greg Olsen, who may be a red zone threat, but has only 19 receptions. There’s a stat that can be either positive or negative for Olsen, and that’s targets: I don’t have his numbers for week 7, but through 6 weeks, he was targeted 35 times and caught 15.  Good news, he’s getting chances. Bad news, maybe he sucks at catching?
• I think, if we were the NFL and gave draft pick order via standing, the one to win it would be Wheel’s team. Also, if I were running the NFL and wanted to oust a team like the Raiders for terrible ownership, it would have to be Wheel’s team. How does a team this bad have only 1 transaction? Out of curiosity, I looked up Wheel’s lone move: dropping the Tampa Bay D for Shaun Hill in late September. Come on, buddy, I think you’re ready for your second move…maybe dropping Hill for someone who will be starting?

Awards

• The Chris Johnson Holy $%*! That’s a Lot of Points Award – Carson Palmer/Miles Austin (Preptown Fancy Lads). Look who’s 4-3…it’s Dave! Look who he’s riding to a winning record…Carson Palmer and the child, please Bengals. They deserve to be on top of the AFC North (definitely not my counterfeit Ravens). Also, what a great waiver wire pickup in Miles Austin Miles (since I have called him Austin Miles too many times to count) who in his last two starts has gained 421 receiving yards.
• The LenWhale White Sloppy Shame Award – Frank Gore (Skora) was still banged up, they’ll say. The Niners were down by three touchdowns after the first half and they needed to catchup, they’ll say. The two Bush presidents were in attendance and that amount of concentrated evil will stop the forces of the environmentally-friendly-by-shared-name-proxy good, some may say. Still, the Texans are a soft team against the run. Gore averaged a paltry 2.5 yards on 13 carries. What’s worse…if it weren’t for a fluke 9 yard run, he would have been sub-2 ypc. That’s gross, that’s terrible, that’s absolutely LenWhalean.
• The Come On, Tom Award – With My Mama (Cox) for a very cryptic quote on his page. Who is he asking help from? Can’t be from Tom Brady, Tom Cable, or old Tommy Coughlin? Maybe a nicknaming of Pierre Thomas? Maybe Tom Celek…because we all love Magnum, PI.
• Fantasy Imitating Life Award – Crabby (Shaw) who’s fantasy team lost, and every player’s team (excluding the kicker, because kickers should always be excluded) lost.

The “Holy Crap, it’s 1:45am and I’m not asleep…and I have to work tomorrow” Rankings

1. Wacko for Flacco/Chuck (7-0, #1) – I’m pretty sure I will lose to Jill’s team. Why? Bye week for Brady, Welker, and Benson. Still, pretty happy about this team.

2. Awesomeness!/Jill (5-2, #6) – Most of her important byes are over and her team looks stacked. One concern, Ahmad Bradshaw might be a non-factor for the next three weeks.

3. Visanthe’s Shiancoe/Pierce (5-2, #3) – Probably the most unexpected top 20 scoring player is Ray Rice. He’s looking good, and he’ll be fresh in the RB by committee that the Ravens are deploying.

4. with my mama/Cox (4-3, #4) – An expected loss without MJD on bye…also, the RB rich get richer: Shonn Greene is the man with the loss of Washington.

5. 2010 is my year/Skora (4-3, #8) – On paper, this is a team to fear. Four quality WRs, 3 quality RBs, and the number 1 QB, this team is going to be a bear in the second half.

6. Preptown Fancy Lads/Dave (4-3, #10) – This ranking is contingent on Miles Austin Miles continuing to be a #1 WR and DeAngelo Williams continuing to hold off Jonathan Stewart. Doesn’t it seem like Jonathan Stewart has been on the cusp of being a superstar for like 10 years?

7. Britney’s Bald Spot (3-4, #5) – Not really a bye week loss, and now Westbrook add another injury to his long list of reasons for doubt. Still, how about Crabtree coming in looking like a pro?

8. Eighth Year Wonder/Toby (4-3, #7) – Peyton is amazing. So is Fitzgerald. Everyone else, including TJ, is a coin flip. How about being a winning team in the bottom half of the rankings? Blame it on the drugs…or the late hour.

9. Accidental Boners/House (3-4, #2) – Do we call a clock on when McNabb is replaced by Kolb? Also, LT and Fred Jackson are non-factors.

10. that’s what she said/Alexis (2-5, #9) – I guess you can’t really make any moves with this team, since you’re so close to winning. Still, you’ve got to make it to the playoffs…it’s time to win now.

11. Thundercats’ Offense/Jayson (2-5, #14) – Nice win thanks to a good game from Romo. Still, you stick with Reggie Bush all year and bench him in favor of two Questionable kick returners? Still, this team has potential…of course, half a season of potential netted you just two wins.

12. Crabs in the Slot/Shaw (3-4, #11) – Other than Roddy White’s touchdown, Shaw’s team didn’t have a double digit scorer. Big question, what happened to Forte? Maybe the Bears loss of their heart and soul (Urlacher) has trickled down to under production from their key cogs.

13. Floppy Weiners/Christoph (2-5, #12) – You’ve gotta love Stephen Jackson’s heart, but you’ve got to hate him not seeing the end zone at all this season. Maybe you can trade a TE…

14. Wheel/Weil (1-6, #13) – Michael Jenkins? Jerious Norwood? Shaun Hill? Fasano? These are all Dumpsville, right?

How many Sanchez balls will this man drop?

First, the trade that was posted today will have some impact. Braylon will finally get some targets with the Jets, which I’m sure Shaw will appreciate. Now, with the garbage TDs that Bowe will get, Shaw’s receiving corps won’t be as hurting in the remaining 2/3 of the season. Will Braylon’s trade opposite, my personal favorite Chansi Stuckey (still a FA in our league) also see an increase in his production with the Mangenius team? There’s definitely a chance that the speedster will be on the receiving end of the D.Anderson bombs…though this could be Dan’s pickup Massaquoi’s team (I highly doubt this: I’m willing to bet that we saw Massaquoi’s career game).

Killing Jill Softly With His Play

Second, that was a great MNF game. How ’bout that Favre? 3 TDs and a win over his former team…but how about the fact that Aaron Rodgers was only outscored by 1 point in fantasy? That’s a great result for a definitely top 5 QB in fantasy. Of course, Jill loves it.  Rats, he’s on the bench? Oh, how about her smart pickup of Trent Edwards against the woeful Browns.

Our hopes rest on your well-furred shoulders

Third, I think the faith is weak for some pre-season fantasy studs. Bye bye, Torry Holt and Laveranues Coles. No more love for underwhelming Zach Miller and Ted Ginn.  We’ve learned that we can’t trust any Patriots or Raiders running backs (Hell, how can you believe in any Raider for any football reason as long as Jamarcus is the QB?). We’re scratching our heads as to which Titans receiver to start. We’ve got to ask what happened to kickers. Here are a few observations at the 1/4 point of the season:

- #3 pick Michael Turner, #5 LaDainian Tomlinson, and #6 Brian Westbrook look like first round busts this year, yet each owner (Jill, House, and Leblanc, respectively) are doing well. Solid drafts for each save them all from the bottom tier of our league.

- I guess Drew Brees isn’t going to be breaking any passing records this year. The Saints success was thought to be tied to the passing game, but a much improved DEF (second scoring D this year) and a multi-headed rushing attack are making the Saints so well rounded that Brees can have two TD-less games and still win. Of course, Pierce will hate the TD-less games, but he’s still got the 12th best player in fantasy for the 10th pick.

- The worst QB picks? Brady by me (14th pick, 32nd best player), injured McNabb (33rd pick, 1929) and Matt Hasselbeck (104th pick, 1796).

- I continue to think it because I’ve been brainwashed with all the fantasy reading I’ve done, but using a high draft pick (anything above the 12th round) on a kicker or a defense is just insane. The top three scoring defenses (Niners, Saints, and Broncos) were waiver wire pickups. 12th round pick for the Thundercats was the Carolina DEF, the lowest scoring DEF in the game. The highest scoring K is Tynes, a free agent pickup.

- The most surprising thing about this year: Steve Smith the Giant is the #1 WR in the game, while Steve Smith the Panther is #45.

—–

Awards

This man inspires greatness and fluke defensive touchdowns.

The Chris Johnson “Holy Shit That’s A Lot of Points” Award – House

gets it for starting the amazing Niners DEF. 41 fantasy points, 3 D/ST touchdowns. Should we congratulate the Niners renewed approach toward defense, or to the horrible Rams? I’m so glad to see that Boller continues to suck. See, Billick and Fassel, you were never going to mold him into a stellar quarterback.

The Surprise Sources Award – Leblanc’s bald spot got 20+ contributions from the Houston D, Ronnie Brown and the bearded Orton. Of course, I have to give notice to Skora getting 20+ from Sims-Walker, who looks like he’s the real deal, and 14.5 from the amazingly fast Knox. What happens to these slippery fast return guys? It seems like their average career effectiveness is like 1.5 years.

You’ve Failed Me Again, Fantasy Gurus – Wheel should have gotten a monster game from Julius Jones, according to most of the fantasy pundits before week 4. Matthew Berry predicted 100+ and 1 TD…Jones scored Wheel 3.8 points in a 5.5 point defeat to Cox’s team.

Belated Awakened Studs Award – Cox has a nice two game winning streak, and getting great production from MJD, Wayne and Pierre Thomas.

Belated Awful Advice Ignored Award – Toby for ignoring my gloating call that he should have started Flacco over Peyton “best QB in fantasy right now” Manning.

Belated Good Trade, Bad Manager Award – from my not posted last week writeup – “Skora, for trading for clear #1 WR Desean Jackson, who netted 24.5 points in week 3, and putting him on the bench. Who’d Skora start instead? Johnny Knox (11.3 pts), Sims-Walker (6.7), Sproles (8.2) and Hightower (3.6). Sure, you can’t predict the Gore injury, and starting Desean wouldn’t have won you the week, but why trade away your second round pick (Slaton) for a guy you’re not going to start every week?”

—-

Rankings

1. Wacko For Flacco/Chuck (4-0) – This may be the only time I get to put myself as the best team in the FOC. Still, I like my chances against Alex’s team, especially if Eli is out for week. Still, too many question marks on my team, including the unsure status of my 3rd RB (Harrison or Benson), second WR (maybe I shouldn’t have traded away Desean), and the fact that Brady isn’t going to be the Brady of 2007.

2. Accidental Boners/House (3-1) - Does McNabb come back strong? How will Fred Jackson perform now that’s he’s a 50:50 split back with Marshawn back in the mix? How will Moreno do against stout linebackers, like the ones populating Belicheck’s defense? Do you trust the fluky 3 TD day that the Niners DEF had last week? Still, you can’t ignore the fact that House’s team has some dynamic scorers…who might top 120 points or might get a loss against the eighth year wonders.

3. Visanthe’s Shiancoe/Pierce (3-1) - You lost to the best, so there’s no shame. All kidding aside, Pierce has many bye week position fills this week and may lose to Shaw, thus the fall to three. I also still question Pierce’s reliance on starting two WRs from the same team, but with his depth and eye for the waiver wire, this team is going to remain a fixture at the top of the rankings

4. with my mama/Cox (3-1) - Look at the murderer’s row of fantasy studs on Cox’s team; Wayne, MJD, Celek, and Thomas. Now look at all the possible studs: 85, Big Ben, Nurleson, J. Stewart, Garrard. This is a deep good team…how about this prediction…Cox vs. Pierce for the bobblehead.

5. Britney’s Bald Spot/Leblanc (2-2) - There’s a lot of potential on this old team. I really like the bearded Orton, Nate Washington (if the Titans can start playing well), and some decent RBs. Of course, wouldn’t Leblanc love it if Crabtree and Edelman become the break out performers (not likely at all).

6. Awesomeness/Jill (3-1) – She’s gonna suffer this week with the byes (Rodgers, Vincent Jackson, Grant) but the rest of the way the byes won’t kill her team’s chances. Not bad getting most of the impactful byes out of the way against a strong Leblanc team. Jill will be full strength against Pierce’s team. Good matchup.

7. Eighth Year Wonders/Toby (2-2) - The low scorer this week is suffering from underwhelming seasons from Fitzgerald and LJ. However, I really like Peyton, and if Toby can get some production from Choice (likely) and Thomas Jones (not likely), then maybe Toby will give Dan a run for his money. I think it might be time for a trade, Tobes.

8. 2010 is my year/Skora (2-2) - What an appropriate name for this team…Sims-Walker, Hightower, Knox, Sproles, and Gore all have bright futures in the NFL, but they’re not yet ready for primetime. I think this is the highest upside keeper team I’ve ever seen. Still, this year, I think .500 is about right.

9. that’s what she said/Alexis (1-3) - Definitely down but not out for the count. After the bye week, this team could be good, especially with the soft matchups ahead for some of her marquee players. Plus, she’s still got All-Day. However, any team relying on fat head LenDale for anything at all is a losing team. *personal note: hope Alexis keeps all the bye kids in the lineup for my team to get to 5-0!

10. Preptown Fancy Lads/Dave (2-2) - This could be a team on an upswing. I like Palmer this weekend, especially against a weak Ravens secondary. I also like touchdown McGahee, and the Carolina boys crushing a chaotic Redskins “organization.” Still, a weak receiving corp will prevent Dave from making it to the top half of the league.

11. Captain Muddpoopers/Shaw (2-2) – Look who’s climbing toward respectability. Cassel will be fine as long as he gets those garbage time touchdowns to Bowe. Coffee looks like he’ll get a few more starts. Cadillac looks like he’s in fine shape. Still, you’ve got to hate seeing Braylon leave D.Anderson’s side to go to the green rookie’s team. Anyway, much better than your terrible team, skipper.

12. DeutschlandInZeHaus/German (1-3) - The man with the most annoying-to-type team name is a fluke Niners game away from .500…and now he’s looking at 1-4. Wheel’s team should have a great week, and Christoph might be running into some flat numbers from his keys. I like Hasselbeck and look for a bounce back game from T.O., but I don’t know if you get much of anything from Jackson, Addai, or Boldin.

13. Wheel/Wheel (0-4) – You know, maybe Jay’s team isn’t that bad? He’s not the worst team. Still, how does a team still have Anthony Fasano (-3.8 points)? Why Beanie Wells and Norwood still on this team? Wheel, make more than one move this season on the waiver wire.

14. Thundercats’ offense (0-4) – A team with no running back help just got worse. McFadden is out and Reggie Bush is on a bye. Jayson only has Mewelde Moore going, who may score 11 points this weekend against the Lions. Enjoy that win, Cox.

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Picks

Wacko for Flacco yells down that’s what she said

Britney’s Bald Spot waxes Awesomeness!

Captain Muddpoopers dumps Visanthe’s Shiancoe

with my mama spanks Thundercats’ offense

The German besiegt Wheel

Accidental Boners pop past Eighth Year Wonders

Upset Special – Preptown Fancy Lads skip past 2010 is my year

Visanthe’s (+9) wins over that’s what she said – Here’s to my bold prediction, the 49ers will keep Adrian Peterson to less than 100 yards rushing. I think they’re going to force Favre to go out and win the game. Also, I have this feeling that Leon Washington goes nuts in the game against the Titans.

with my mama (+4) wins over Accidental Boners - Fred Jackson is not going to have a big game as the Bills have to play the aerial game to keep up with the Saints. I also think we’ll see more of bad Jake the man. Match that with a big game for MJD and you’ve got a Cox win…barely.

Wacko for Flacco (-10) wins over Medicare Beneficiary – Yeah, I’m picking me as a favorite. Why? Because I hate Westbrook and his oldness. Ronnie Brown should have a nice game, but I see a similar break out from trading buddy Steve Slaton. I definitely know that Brady isn’t going to score 20, but I should win this one…of course, fearing the shrieking cacaphony if Leblanc beats me.

Wheel (+7) wins over Awesomeness! – I pick Wheel mainly because Jill is starting Santana Moss…again. I know, I’m going against my “pick against wheel” mantra, but the football gods have to punish Jill’s insistence on starting the mouse over and over and over again.

Germany (+10) wins over 2010 Skora – I guess I’m going to keep going with the projected underdogs. How much you want to bet that the Dolphins gameplan will include covering Sproles regardless of where he lines up? No untouched pass plays for mighty mite. Also, I’m looking for a big game for Cutler and T.O.

StupidSexyFlanders (-10) over Preptown – Never bet against Peyton, right? I hate Thomas Jones this week, though. Maybe Toby wins a squeaker…I should pick against him if I were counting the spread.

Thundercats (-8) over Crabby – Randy Moss is going to have a big game, maybe. Romo should perform on the night game. Should. I don’t know, now that I see that Forte is going to go against the weak Seattle line. Still, until Shaw’s team wins one, I can’t pick him. Bold predictions, Tony Gonzalez scores less than 5 points and Moss scores 2 TDs.

2.) Nothing’s better.  Gotta love both college and the pros — of course the games are amazing, but there’s so much more.  The anticipation towards fall.  Tailgating.  Fantasy talk.  The slow burn in between weekends.  Reconciling fantasy versus real-life.  BCS arguments.  It’s the best.

3.) Daryl Morey (Houston Rockets GM).  I’m up in my head a lot, trying to find the best possible trades and the best pickups by looking at stats.  It’s generally a huge waste of time, but sometimes it works out.  Otherwise, I just think “What would Chuck do?” and do the exact opposite.

4.) Gino Toretta . . . oh wait, #1?  As in, “best”?  How ’bout Jim Thorpe?  I always liked that guy.

5.) I’m feeling a lot like the Atlanta Braves circa 1994.  First or second place regular season finishes and zero titles.  As long as I finish above Skora, I’ll be happy.  That’s a lie — why do we play?  We play to win the game.  And every year we expect a championship.

I’m the inventor of autodraft, and my right bicep measures 24″ in
diameter on the moon.

2. Why football?

Because it combines my loves for jiggly thighs in tight pants and
giving people concussions.

3. Who is your mental mentor, the person you visualize, when you’re in
your fantasy work mode?

I visualize how Tom Brady would pick his fantasy team; however, I
haven’t so far been able to draft any Brazilian supermodels, and I
keep my pants on through the draft.

4. Who’d be your #1 fantasy historical player?

Johnny Unitas.  Just so I could quote Method Man and say, “Johnny
Unitas, handle that like arthritis” whenever his name came up.

5. How are you going to do this year? Why?

Terribly.  Because past performance in this case is indicative of
future performance.  I’m the Detroit Lions of this league.

1. Tell us a little about yourself (asked as a question by voice going higher on yourself).
Hello, my name is Dan, and I’m a Buffalo Bills fan.

2. Why football?
Because I grew up in Rochester, NY.  And even though Western New York has so much else going for it – a booming economy, culture, and great weather, we were also blessed to be given the Buffalo Bills, a model pro sports organization.  Those four Super Bowl appearances during my formative years have shaped my outlook on life.

3. Who is your mental mentor, the person you visualize, when you’re in your fantasy work mode?
Marv Levy:  “There will be many failures sprinkled among the successes you enjoy.”

4. Who’d be your #1 fantasy historical player?
The Thurmanator, Thurman Thomas. Closely followed by Scott Norwood.

5. How are you going to do this year? Why?
Top 10 finish.  Because this league also includes two girls, a German, and Wheel (just kidding!!!).